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Monday, December 26, 2011

Reliving Memories

Browsing through old photographs is real fun, more so when you look at them after many years.

Especially baby pictures of your own kids.

Were they really that chubby? Did I really give birth to them?  In some of their baby pictures, the older one has the same dreamy gaze ... but when she smiled it made my day. A very content yet sensitive and at-peace-with-herself baby … and a peaches-and-cream complexion.  Things she did the younger one never did, the second one was chubbier, happier, wanting her way around and making her presence felt.  Assertive.  When she was hungry there was definitely no doubt about it!

How can I still get the feeling that they are doing the same things as when they were babies when I don't remember many of the things they did!  Looking at photos does remind me of certain instances, which at that time I didn't register as I was fully enjoying their growing up. They were almost like twins, so less time to focus on each one.

Some of these traits I see even now, over 25 years later, continuing as they grow ... I think that's why mothers feel their children will always be babies still, even after they've grown into adults.

Life was made of loving them caring for them spending sleepless nights worrying about them. This has not changed much even now.

Of course the bestest present they have given me in return is the eternal feeling of being a mother.
Time has flown.

Towards the end of every year one feels it has gone by so fast. If there were no year-ends would we feel the same way? Grown-up kids do sometimes remind us of the real passage of time.

Their birthdays fall in this last month of the year and this is even clearer indication of one more year added. Time is flying.

You will both remain my babies forever. Love you always. 
 Birthday greetings to both of you !
And a very Happy New Year to all !!!

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Poinsettias




It's Christmas time again. No snow. It's the month both my daughters were born.  Happiness and Celebrations in the air. The Poinsettias on my Camphor chest radiating their red, so symbolic of this festive time.

The red star, a visual prayer for peace and tolerance.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

And the cooking spree continues......

The satisfaction of home-cooked food cannot be replaced by anything else in this world. It may not be any gourmet French or Italian or even Mughlai, a simple dal chawal with papad and a home-made pickle for accompaniment is enough, totally satiating. The presentation also does not have to be fancy, as long as it is neatly placed in front of you.

Everyday cooking can be a bit boring, though one tries to incorporate variety be it with vegetables, different meats, or cereal …. conscious always of the fact that at the end of it one needs to produce a balanced meal at the table.
The most difficult part is what to cook?! Without much help from the consuming counterparts one has to think of the menu singlehandedly, keeping everyone’s individual likes and dislikes in mind. I am not very fond of cooking per se and have always been lucky to have khandani cooks working for me, completely spoilt in that respect. To the extent that the menu and each person’s specific preferences were all taken into account!
Well now for over four years I’ve been cooking on my own, without much help. With the girls working besides husband dear they do look forward to a hot meal made with all the love and care. Many-a-day it is a one-dish meal, on others it is left-overs, maybe supplemented by a take-away, or on other days we simply order out. Occasionally I attempt some elaborate cooking like Biryanis, Pulaos, Khormas, once in a while Idli-Dosa-Sambar, but most days it is simple. And of course in the cooler months, some BBQ.
All this reminds me of one or two cooking classes I joined many decades ago where they tried to teach us recipes which one could never reproduce on a day-to-day basis. It was repeated once and never again. Recipe books I do follow but generally try to improvise and do my own thing. The food programs on TV and the YouTube are useful for some quick tips. But I think when it comes to cakes and desserts one needs to find and follow a good recipe step by step, no cutting corners.
Talking of fancy cooking, AS and I decided to try out some blueberry cheese-cake. A rare moment when the daughter wants to try a recipe …. we went ahead and the results are in the pictures below.





 

Pour a mixture of  240gms cream cheese,1 cup sour cream, 3/4 cup sugar,1teaspoon vanilla extract, 2 tablespoons of allpurpose flour, and 4 eggs into a readymade crumb base. Bake in oven for 45 minutes at 160 degrees.






For blueberry glaze, cook 1/2 cup sugar,1tablespoon cornstarch,1/cup water and 1cup fresh blueberries  over medium heat till mixture is clear. Cool completely.




Pour cooled blueberry glaze over cooled cheese cake.Cover blueberry cheesecake and chill in the refrigerator.Ready to serve.



Saturday, December 3, 2011

Barbeque Delight




The weather’s turning pleasant. Everybody’s out in their gardens more, and so are the barbeque sets. 

BBQs are a very social way of cooking. Clearly not a one-man show, these require everybody’s involvement, from lighting the coals, to fanning them with a newspaper or magazine (or just blowing, or rather, wheezing, through your mouth!), to turning the food over on the grill.

I’ve become used to cooking in an open kitchen where there’s some activity around, like chatting or even listening to music. This makes the task more fun, and seem less laborious. I quite like the idea of BBQs, though of course on most days I have to cook alone ... I do so silently and accomplish whatever needs doing in a more organised way, planning my little preparations spread over the day so all the work doesn’t have to be done at once. Of course I have a habit of cleaning and washing as I go along because I dread cleaning up the mess at the end all at one go.

Last weekend we decided to do a barbeque. We’re not equipped with a barbeque set (i.e. grill stand) though we’ve been thinking of getting ourselves one. But two things have so far put us off, one the hassle of getting everything ready ... more so the lazy-bug inside (we rather order out and be done with it, less hassle), and secondly, buying a decent barbeque set. Not only the cost but deciding what kind (since this can be gas-based or electric, the pros and cons of each, etc.), there are so many choices these days. So to get around these two elements we’ve just found another way to do this.

We buy a disposable BBQ. It consists of a tray made of thick aluminium foil, contains a small bag of charcoal and a grill all fitted into one neat pack. Does not cost very much at all, and is the right size for a family of four. AS and I marinated some chicken on skewers that afternoon, we then looked forward to the evening.

The charcoals were lit, and once the flames subsided the fanning started in real earnest. Watching us IS got a brilliant idea to generate breeze with a portable vacuum cleaner ... Of course we realised that the machine only sucked air and didn’t blow any .... With all the engineering ... a hair-dryer would probably have been perfect!

After all the commotion the coals were just right and we laid out our skewers, fanning continuously. The chicken didn’t take long and was soon done near-perfect.

We got out our plates and served ourselves. The thrill of eating out in the open and literally straight off the fire was enthralling. Food cooked on coals has a taste of its own. The disposable BBQ worked ... and how! Of course, having more people would mean greater involvement, though also more interaction ... More fun. I think we should go in for a larger set ....... or maybe not, just manage with more of these little 'jugaads'!

Friday, November 18, 2011

Mother in-law

When I got married to IS he had already lost both his parents. His father passed on while he was still in school and his mother while he was in college. He was the only child. By 20 he was a one-man family. On the other hand I came from a reasonably large family, not joint as such but a family which was constantly in touch with other relatives and met frequently for festivities and summer holidays.
Our married life began pretty much on our own … I mean without in-laws. Some say I was lucky as I did not have any saas-bahu jhanjats. I could not understand this at all as I had not experienced any such thing or for that matter never will. I did enjoy the independence but I know I missed having a relationship with IS’s mother.
It so happened that IS’s mothers ring (my wedding band now), her bangles fit me exactly. Her blouses fit me perfectly and of course I inherited her wonderful collection of hand-woven sarees, some hand-picked (or even specially ordered I heard) by her dear husband. I wore each and every one of her sarees. She had classic taste and her simplicity was her style statement, I could tell from these beautiful things and the pictures I saw of her. I could have instantly connected with her, without having met her I think we would have got along very well. She was an artist and did Chinese style paintings which I will share with you some day.
When I saw pictures of IS's parents I wished I had the opportunity to meet them. The stories I heard from close friends of his parents made me feel I had missed out on knowing two wonderful dynamic personalities. They say she was a very strong person in a difficult time, taught herself a lot, and by her example many younger family-members learnt to work on their own self-improvement.
Today is my mother in-law’s Barsi (death anniversary) and I would love to share some of her pictures. I don’t think she could have created any ”saas bahu” problems for me. I somehow feel she’s watching over me and IS, and that we are blessed.





Thursday, October 20, 2011

A post from my garden


As the rays of the morning sun move into my garden these dainty little blue flowers shine like gems, sparkling on my fence. When they open there seems to be more blue than green. The flowers close by dusk as the sun fades.

This Morning Glory (ipomoea) is a vigorous, fast-growing creeper, winds itself around and holds on to anything! I smuggled a little sapling in a shoe-box from Chennai. I am known to take cuttings and little saplings from far and near places, mostly from friends’ gardens, to try and grow them myself and have been successful many-a-time.

Nurturing a little sapling into a full-grown, thriving plant like this gives real pleasure, makes me happy.








Saturday, October 15, 2011

The other side of Happiness

Glass bangles really fascinated me. During the seventies wearing glass bangles was a rage. I possessed quite a few reds, greens, blues, yellows, including some with gold and silver patterns, and had most of the colours to match my dresses. Each colour may have signified a certain energy but I loved the little tinkling sound they made especially when worn on both hands.

Unfortunately the fragile beauty of these pretty bangles was not long-lasting.


The broken pieces of glass when collected and put into a kaleidoscope can create magical patterns. The anguish of the broken bits is turned to delight. One is awestruck with the beautiful dazzle that never ceases as one slowly turns the little tube holder. As kids we all enjoyed this invention which brought smiles to our faces.

Similarly, being able to pick up broken pieces of our life situations helps build something new and stronger.



These patterns which I created doodling just reminded me of the kaleidoscope.








Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Hotter than the summer sun


Summer is here again with its hot scorching sun, and the Gulmohar tree (Delonix regia) is even hotter with its cluster of exuberant flame-red / orange flowers. This flamboyant tree is quite a distraction from the heat and one of my favourites. There are plenty of these in the area we live in, and the red of the flowers against the sand-coloured houses forms a really nice contrast.

These trees bring back lots of childhood memories. Sheltering behind them for hide-and-seek , climbing their strong branches, collecting the fallen red flowers as specimens for Botany class when studying the parts of a flower, dismantling the buds to make nail extensions, the anthers in ‘lock fighting’, sometimes even tried eating some buds!!!

Nature sure has its way of surprising us with its beauty despite its harsh side …




Friday, May 27, 2011

Lessons from Mommyhood

Dipali tagged me to write about ‘what mommyhood has taught me’.

The tag:

It’s been a while since us Mommybloggers came up with something to celebrate, well, mommyhood, so the lovely Monika and I came up with this. A tag that has us list out five lessons of life that Mommyhood has taught us, these could be sweet, bitter, funny, touching, whatever. These could be survival tips or cooking tips, or something as simple as the best thing to get puke smell out of hair.

So, the rules are simple. Put the badge up. Write out five lessons that Mommyhood taught you. And tag five mommybloggers.



There are always lessons to be learnt from children, as Dipali says, right from a young age to when they’re older. I have two daughters a year apart (so after a year or so they became almost like twins but definitely required a lot of individual attention, to grow into their own independent selves quite soon). It was like two of the same some times, two quite different characters at others.

Now both full-time employed young ladies, in the specialist fields of Design Management and Supply Chain Management; this has itself widened my knowledge of these fields … we didn’t even know of these ‘disciplines’ in my time! It feels like a really long time ago that they were babies who needed to be fed, bathed, potty-trained and all that. Ever since then I’ve been learning through them!

I’ll try to put down five points that this experience (motherhood) taught me:-

(1) To be more responsible. I had motherly instincts much before I had kids of my own. I was very fond of children and having children of my own only fostered these instincts. When they were babies all their demands of feeding, nappy-changing, getting their inoculations on time, rushing them to the doctor at the first sign of illness, protecting them, helping to get their homework done, their extra-curricular activities, all were top priority and soon became an integral part of my life. There was no thinking twice. It was like disciplining oneself into a routine. Even now I worry if they have eaten, or are safe when they go out for late night parties. Though my husband says it’s high time I learn to treat them as adults, I would do any of these for them anytime even now.

(2) To be more sensitive not only to the demands of my own kids but to children from under-privileged backgrounds or differently-abled. My heart aches for parents who lose a child or have one suffering from an incurable illness. I feel satisfied when my kids emote the same way in such situations. Their manners and respect for elders in the family, especially the care and affection they show my mother, is true reward for me … a reassurance that at least in this there was no short-fall in their upbringing.

(3 ) I learnt how to swim thanks to the girls. I joined swimming classes with them and picked up some swimming techniques but the girls went far ahead very soon …. became national champions within 2-3 years. Their achievements made me proud and I admit that I basked in their glory and fame for a long time. Watched them and tried to improve my swimming skills. Another advantage of the competitions they participated in was I got to travel quite a lot … a Bharat Darshan, which otherwise would not have happened. Even a trip with the two of them to China!

(4) Learnt to be patient, especially in their tough training schedules. Also to listen to their demands without taking sides. Trying to be as fair as possible. Giving their individual personalities the necessary space.

(5) Never to judge other parents. All parents do their best for their children. Nobody is perfect: we apply different ways to handle different situations, it’s all situational. I have seen mothers do the stupidest things and could only hope that at some point the child’s greater wisdom would prevail! Some are blessed with less motherly attributes than others, but everyone is entitled to do things their own way, unless abusing or hurting the child.

I am generally happy with the outcome in my case and have learned to live life not just for myself. But at times I do have a secret desire to retire from mother-hood and do things just for myself for a change! But I know I can never stop being a mother, and motherhood is part of it.

And now to tag 5 mothers is very difficult, the few I’m in touch with don’t blog and a couple have already been tagged … I can think of only one just now who qualifies and will tag her:-

Tarannum who is a doting mother of two young boys and will surely have lots to share.