Lessons from Mommyhood

Dipali tagged me to write about ‘what mommyhood has taught me’.

The tag:

It’s been a while since us Mommybloggers came up with something to celebrate, well, mommyhood, so the lovely Monika and I came up with this. A tag that has us list out five lessons of life that Mommyhood has taught us, these could be sweet, bitter, funny, touching, whatever. These could be survival tips or cooking tips, or something as simple as the best thing to get puke smell out of hair.

So, the rules are simple. Put the badge up. Write out five lessons that Mommyhood taught you. And tag five mommybloggers.

There are always lessons to be learnt from children, as Dipali says, right from a young age to when they’re older. I have two daughters a year apart (so after a year or so they became almost like twins but definitely required a lot of individual attention, to grow into their own independent selves quite soon). It was like two of the same some times, two quite different characters at others.

Now both full-time employed young ladies, in the specialist fields of Design Management and Supply Chain Management; this has itself widened my knowledge of these fields … we didn’t even know of these ‘disciplines’ in my time! It feels like a really long time ago that they were babies who needed to be fed, bathed, potty-trained and all that. Ever since then I’ve been learning through them!

I’ll try to put down five points that this experience (motherhood) taught me:-

(1) To be more responsible. I had motherly instincts much before I had kids of my own. I was very fond of children and having children of my own only fostered these instincts. When they were babies all their demands of feeding, nappy-changing, getting their inoculations on time, rushing them to the doctor at the first sign of illness, protecting them, helping to get their homework done, their extra-curricular activities, all were top priority and soon became an integral part of my life. There was no thinking twice. It was like disciplining oneself into a routine. Even now I worry if they have eaten, or are safe when they go out for late night parties. Though my husband says it’s high time I learn to treat them as adults, I would do any of these for them anytime even now.

(2) To be more sensitive not only to the demands of my own kids but to children from under-privileged backgrounds or differently-abled. My heart aches for parents who lose a child or have one suffering from an incurable illness. I feel satisfied when my kids emote the same way in such situations. Their manners and respect for elders in the family, especially the care and affection they show my mother, is true reward for me … a reassurance that at least in this there was no short-fall in their upbringing.

(3 ) I learnt how to swim thanks to the girls. I joined swimming classes with them and picked up some swimming techniques but the girls went far ahead very soon …. became national champions within 2-3 years. Their achievements made me proud and I admit that I basked in their glory and fame for a long time. Watched them and tried to improve my swimming skills. Another advantage of the competitions they participated in was I got to travel quite a lot … a Bharat Darshan, which otherwise would not have happened. Even a trip with the two of them to China!

(4) Learnt to be patient, especially in their tough training schedules. Also to listen to their demands without taking sides. Trying to be as fair as possible. Giving their individual personalities the necessary space.

(5) Never to judge other parents. All parents do their best for their children. Nobody is perfect: we apply different ways to handle different situations, it’s all situational. I have seen mothers do the stupidest things and could only hope that at some point the child’s greater wisdom would prevail! Some are blessed with less motherly attributes than others, but everyone is entitled to do things their own way, unless abusing or hurting the child.

I am generally happy with the outcome in my case and have learned to live life not just for myself. But at times I do have a secret desire to retire from mother-hood and do things just for myself for a change! But I know I can never stop being a mother, and motherhood is part of it.

And now to tag 5 mothers is very difficult, the few I’m in touch with don’t blog and a couple have already been tagged … I can think of only one just now who qualifies and will tag her:-

Tarannum who is a doting mother of two young boys and will surely have lots to share.